One Year Later

I apologize in advance if this post sounds like a bunch of random word vomit, but my feelings are everywhere at the moment. I just re-read the post I wrote the night before Lawson was born. It's funny how I'm feeling the same emotions: happy, sad, excited, and anxious. With no better way to say it, I can't believe my baby will be one tomorrow. I also can't believe how emotional I am about it.

I love the age that Lawson is. I love watching him play and learn and discover new things everyday. I love to hear him laugh and squeal and say "Mama." I love to watch him walk. I love his open-mouthed kisses and bear hugs. But I miss my little baby. No, this does not mean I'm ready for another one. Everyone always said that by Lawson's first birthday I would be ready for another baby. That is completely untrue. I don't want another baby right now. You never really know what everyone means when they say, "Enjoy it. It goes by way too fast." until you are putting away tubs of baby clothes in the closet and a newborn diaper falls from the extra pile on the top shelf and you can't remember when your little boy used to be that small.

I've cried no less than ten times today. I guess it doesn't help that I visited and decided on a daycare today for Lawson (Justin got a new job! More on that later). Like I said, I love the age Lawson is now. I'm excited for him to experience each new day, but I'm sad for the days that have already gone by that I'm not going to get back.

However, no matter how emotional I am tomorrow, I will not let it stop me from enjoying his birthday. I can't wait to scoop him up out of his crib tomorrow and hug him. I want to celebrate him and enjoy him and reflect on what a great year we've had with him. Being a mother really makes you feel like each new day you have with your child is a gift. Lawson is the best gift I've ever received.

Happy birthday, Bear. I'll love you forever.

In full swing!

We are in the thick of our two weeks of birthday fun! As I'm writing, there are three minutes left in Justin's 30th birthday and I think he had a good day. Lawson made his daddy a jar filled with the top 30 reasons why Lawson and Mommy love Daddy. Justin gets to open one per day for 30 days. He said that he didn't cheat today and only opened one. Why do Lawson and Mommy love Daddy today? Because he helps with the laundry!

I just finished making Lawson's birthday onesies. I made two long-sleeved onesies and they each have a big number one on them in different fabrics. One is for Lawson to wear at his party and the other is for his actual birthday. I'll post pictures of them when he's actually wearing them because those photos will be much cuter than the photos of the onesies just laying on my ironing board.

I'm in the middle of making felt letters for Lawson's birthday banner but I took a break to shower and write a little blog entry. And to look up more first birthday party decoration ideas on Pinterest.

You know who is tuckered out from all the birthday fun around here? This little boy:

And he hasn't even had his party or birthday yet! He fell asleep on the living room floor last night while playing. Before I woke him up to give him a bottle and put him to bed, I fulfilled my motherly duty and took pictures. He then slept for 14 hours last night. I think he is going through his one-year growth spurt. There was one night last week that he slept for 15 hours without a peep and then took an almost three-hour nap!

Unlike my little bear, sleep is not a priority on my list in the next few days as I get ready for his party. Back to making decorations...

Multitasking

Can you clap and walk at the same time? Lawson can.

The next two weeks in the Leavell house are sure to be pretty exciting! Justin turns 30 on Wednesday (Lawson and I are crafting up a little surprise for that...shhh...), Lawson's first birthday party is on Saturday, and Lawson turns one on Thanksgiving! If you need me, I'll be cleaning, decorating, cooking, or rocking back and forth in the corner as I come to the realization that my baby is turning one.

He walks!

So obviously I haven't written an update about not updating, but it would be my same old "too busy" mantra so I'm just going to jump in with some more regular posting like I was never gone. K? And before you witness 12 seconds of what is the coolest thing in our house right now, I must apologize for how dark this video is, how shaky it is, and how completely ridiculous my 27-year-old voice sounds on camera. Now that I've said that, enjoy Lawson as he walks.

To My Bear

Dear Lawson,

If you could space out the milestones, I'd appreciate it. I'm overwhelmed with all of the clapping, waving, and walking that went on this weekend. Just when I stress out that you aren't hitting any milestones that you should be at twelve months, you go ahead and accomplish them in 48 hours. Really? Also, if we could work on you not getting two or three teeth at a time instead of one, that'd be great too.

Love you forever,
Mama

A little more info: He clapped for the first time yesterday and was so proud of himself that he hasn't stopped yet. In need of a round of applause? Come visit our house. He waved bye-bye to Justin when Justin left for work today. It was the first wave that I felt he understood what he was doing instead of me just mistaking an arm flail for a wave. He also took seven steps in the middle of the kitchen today. Seven. I think that counts as his first steps, right? We won't count those five that Justin said he took on his own one day last week when I was at work. It doesn't count if Mama doesn't see it!

For My Aunt Connie

I spoke with my Aunt Connie tonight. I'm a bad niece for not contacting her more often. She said that she checks my blog about three times a week and is always disappointed that she never sees anything new. She told me to at least update and say that I'm too busy to update. But I think I can do a little better than that.

Today is her birthday so Lawson decided to take a picture for her after his bath tonight. Sorry you can't see that he's smiling. He's rarely without a paci after a bath. So, Aunt Connie, happy birthday! We love you and can't wait to see you!

Oh, and don't those big boy dinosaur pajamas kill you?!

Resolutions

Happy New Year! Well, I'm jumping the gun. I should really be saying that at midnight tonight. Confused? As a teacher, I always feel like the rollover from July to August is much more the start of a new year than the actual year change and holiday. And with my new year starting tomorrow, I feel there are some resolutions I want/need to make with regard to the new school year. While I have been a working mama before when I went back for the last nine weeks of school last spring, going back to work in just two short weeks will be very different. Lawson is a different baby than he was two months ago with a completely different schedule. I feel it will be even harder to go back to work this time around than it was in the spring knowing that I have 36 weeks of work to get through before I can spend each day with him again versus the nine weeks I had to get through the first time. With all of that said, there are some vows I'm making to myself as I sport my working mother hat here in a couple of weeks. Here they are:

1. No working on anything for school before Lawson goes to bed.

Justin and I are probably crazy but we are working opposite schedules again once school starts. While we don't see too much of each other, Lawson doesn't have to go to daycare. I don't have anything against daycare, but we can make this arrangement work for us, so we do. Lawson has been going to bed lately around 8 p.m. (sometimes a little earlier, sometimes a little later) so that will give me a few hours in the evenings to work on what I need to before I go to bed. Sidenote: With my school hours changing, I don't have to leave for school until around 8 a.m. each morning so I get to nurse Lawson when he wakes up and spend an hour with him before I go to school, which is awesome.

2. No school work in the bedroom.

I have a really bad habit about taking work to bed with me. However, I always get too sleepy to do it and it never gets done. Plus, I want to really relax at night before I go to sleep. I decided that I will keep all school work out of the bedroom. I already removed all the books/papers/workbooks/etc. that were cluttered on the floor and they will not be going back in!

3. Work on Friday nights when Lawson goes to bed.

That doesn't sound like fun does it? Well, Justin will be at work anyway so I figure if I can still work on school stuff on Friday nights when Lawson goes to bed then I won't have to work as much when Lawson is awake on the weekends, and hopefully I won't have as much to do on Sunday nights when I normally try to cram it all in and get depressed about Monday approaching way to quickly.

4. Save the TV for the weekend.

I love TV (and I'm not afraid to admit it) and DVR a lot of shows. I can get distracted by these pretty easily. I honestly feel accomplished when I can delete shows off the DVR. Silly, I know. So I'm going to try and save my shows for the weekend. This will allow me to get more done during the weekday evenings and hopefully not have as much to do on the weekend.

5. Make more good phone calls home to parents.

No parent likes to get the call that little Susie or Johnny is doing poorly in school and I certainly don't like making those calls. However, they must be done. So in order to make phone calls home to parents a little more bearable, I want to start making some good phone calls to parents. I'm sure some parents will love to hear that their son/daughter is doing great...what parent wouldn't?

6. Grade, grade, grade.

I always get behind in grading. Always. So once again, like I swear I'll do every school year, I will try to keep up on my grades. Hoping some other resolutions will help this one to fall into place.

7. Say no.

Want to serve on this committee? Sure! Want to help with this event? Absolutely! Want to give up your entire prep period to do me a favor? Yes! That's how I used to be. I feel like I'm always saying yes to everything. However, I'd like to say no more this year. I need all of my time during my prep period and when Lawson goes to bed to work on grading and planning so I don't want to take on anything else to take away from me not getting done what I need to get done. Doing that would ultimately take away from time with Lawson which I definitely don't want!

8. Implement new lesson plans and activities.

With four years of teaching under my belt, I feel very comfortable with knowing what works and what doesn't. However, I think that a teacher can get into a rut of just using the same lessons and activities all of the time, and I'd like to implement some new things that I've had floating around in my head and see how they work.

9. Get to know more students on an individual level.

It's easy to get to know the student that raises her hand each day in class and is outgoing, but it's difficult to get to know the student that sits in the corner in the back of the room. While I do my best, I don't get to know all of my students like I'd like to. I'm going to try to remedy that this year.

10. Have fun!

The Leavell household will not be ready for me to be a stay-at-home mama anytime soon and that's OK. In the meantime, I'd like to try and have fun this year and really enjoy my time at school as well as at home.

Here's to a good year!