Our plan? Wait just a few more months to really start trying to have a baby.
Life's (God's) plan? Have a baby now.
Yep, I'm pregnant!!
Wow, it's still a little strange to even type that and realize that it's about me.
While I've been on an emotional overload during the past 24 hours, I'll tell this story the best that I remember it.
So I can't be 100% shocked that I'm pregnant. We weren't using any form of birth control, after all. I have been on the pill regularly for several years and stopped taking it at the end of January. I had one period in February and I guess I had no reason to worry that Justin and I would have trouble having children because here we are! Yes, ladies and gentlemen and teenagers of all ages, it does just take one time without using a form of birth control to get pregnant.
Let's back up a bit. On Saturday, March 20th, I went to my friend Ashley's house to visit her and her new baby girl. Two of my other girlfriends, Jess and Allison, were there as well. They knew that I was off the pill and asked if there was a chance that I might be pregnant. Well, there was but I didn't think anything of it. Being girls, we bought pregnancy tests (at the Dollar Tree, mind you, since those apparently detect the lowest amount of HCG) and I took one that night. It was negative, just as I had thought. I went about my normal, everyday, non-pregnant life.
I was supposed to be on my period that next week, but (sparing you the details) it barely came. I had some symptoms of it, but nothing really happened. Fast forward to yesterday, March 30th.
Justin was in Muncie visiting his brother and I was ironing. I started to feel cramps like I would normally feel around around Aunt Flo time and had been feeling these cramps for several days in a row. I, being a self-proclaimed doctor perfectly capable of self-diagnosing myself via Google, sat down at the computer and looked up everything that I could possibly have that would cause such cramps. Remembering that I still had two Dollar Tree pregnancy tests hidden in the guest room, I thought I would definitely rule it out (again, I thought) so I took the test. I sat it on the counter and kept one eye on it while I washed my hands and was perfectly prepared for one line to show up.
I wasn't prepared for two lines to show up.
But there they were. So I did what any normal woman does. I freaked out. I believe I ran away from the test that was sitting on the counter saying "Oh my God" over and over and over again. I didn't know what to do. I always pictured how I would feel when I found out that I was pregnant and my reaction definitely wasn't the one I had pictured. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't unhappy, just....shocked.
My next thought? I have to talk to someone. Knowing that Justin was driving home from Muncie, I didn't want to call him. I needed to talk to someone that had been through this before, someone that knew I could call and have a calm, rational conversation with. I didn't want to call a family member (remember my knowledge of maybe being pregnant was all of two minutes at this point so I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up) so I called my friend Ashley. Poor thing didn't know what she was in for. When she picked up, my second freak out began.
I rambled for what seemed like a long time about how I hadn't been feeling well and took the pregnancy test and that it was positive and that Justin wasn't there and I didn't know what to do next, etc. Thank goodness she was calm. She asked me if there was any chance that there wasn't a second line. Um, no. It was staring me in the face. She then told me that I should probably go out and get a name-brand pregnancy test (sorry Dollar Tree) and take that and if that was positive then tell Justin when he got home and then call the doctor the next day. She successfully calmed me down and I ran to get dressed. I really wanted to take that second test before Justin got home so I could be 100% sure before I said anything. One problem. He had my car.
I got dressed and then drank two glasses of water in about five minutes to take the last Dollar Tree test that I had since I didn't have my car to go to get another kind. Surely two tests wouldn't lie, and they didn't. Test number two was just as positive as test number one.
So now all I had to do was tell Justin. Again, I had always dreamed of telling him in some cute way that included some kind of cuddly baby gift, a nice dinner, and a big hug. Wrong. He walked in the door and I made small talk in some high-pitched voice that I don't know that I'd ever heard come out of my mouth before. Then I got down to it. Here's basically how it went:
Me: "I need to talk to you about something."
Justin: "What?" (getting angry or very curious...I couldn't tell which)
Me: "But you can't freak out because I'm already freaking out enough for the both of us."
Justin: "What is it?"
Me: "Sit down."
He sat down.
Me: "I think I'm pregnant."
Justin: "No way."
The rest of the conversation is a blur. It's kind of like when you get engaged and as the girl you think you are going to remember absolutely everything that the guy says when he is down on one knee and then when you finally get the ring on your finger you can't remember a thing. I do remember feeling like it was the most awkward conversation we had ever had.
I showed him the two tests that were still on the counter and told him that I needed to run to CVS to get a "real" test to find out for sure. Since we were supposed to be leaving in 20 minutes to meet my sister and her boyfriend for dinner, he stayed at the apartment to change and get ready and I went to CVS.
I came home, drank some more water, waited a little bit, and took the next test. Positive again.
Then all we had to do was let the news settle in. Easier said than done. There isn't one moment in my life where so many thoughts have run through my head at one time. Here are a few: Oh my God. I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby. Oh, great. My baby has had nothing but diet coke, chicken nuggets, and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the first few weeks of its life. And I drank wine. Twice. And I scooped the cat litter. And I took ibuprofen.
Amazingly, Justin was the epitome of calmness and helped me down from the "freaking out" stage to the "maybe I can handle this" stage.
And here we are. After taking one more pregnancy test this morning for good measure (it was positive), I called a doctor (Ashley's doctor) and I have an appointment on April 9th to get blood work done and an appointment on May 6th to meet the doctor and have our first ultrasound. I'll be very happy after that first appointment to have just a little reassurance that everything is fine. The internet has been a curse and a blessing to me in the past 24 hours as I've Googled every little thing I can think of and been more scared and worried in this short amount of time than I have ever been in my life.
So while the plan was to wait a few more months, save a little more money, be a little more healthy, and feel a little more prepared, God had other plans in mind. And we are OK with that.
We are ready for the adventure!
