Dear Walmart Customer...

As a frequent Walmart shopper, I feel it is due time for this letter. Am I aware that it takes patience to shop at Walmart? Yes. However, I feel these suggestions will improve the lives of Walmart customers everywhere.

Dear Walmart customer,

I completely understand your need and desire to shop at Walmart. I, too, feel that several items are priced lower than in other grocery/department stores. But I feel that I have some suggestions, or "rules" that every one of us should follow to make the Walmart shopping experience pleasant for all.

1. When entering the Walmart parking lot, know that everyone else in town is probably at Walmart at the same time as you are and while you may want to circle the lot 423 times, it is much more efficient and practical to simply park your car in the back of the lot and walk the extra 30 paces to the door instead of waiting for what seems like 10 minutes for a spot that is only five spaces closer to the door than the next available spot. Not only will you get some added exercise by walking the extra 30 paces, but you will make the person behind you (probably me) very happy that he/she does not have to wait to park because he/she is perfectly fine with parking in the back.

2. Upon entry into the store, get your cart or basket and get going. I'm not sure if your trip to Walmart is the highlight of your day, but for some people (like me) it is simply a race to get in and get out so those people (me) don't appreciate your leisurely stroll to get said cart and then take your time getting out your list, wrestling your kids into the cart, checking out what Hostess cakes are on sale this week, etc. If you must take your time with these tasks, step aside so other customers (me) can get his/her cart quickly and run past Subway as quickly as possible so the smell doesn't stick to his/her (my) clothes.

3. Now that we have all started our journey up and down the aisles, we are truly getting the most out of our Walmart experience by saving money with the low prices on the items we are placing in our carts. However, was it necessary for you to bring all 64 members of your family with you to enjoy your shopping experience right along with you? Because I feel that is excessive. If you do need to bring all of your sons/daughters/aunts/uncles/cousins/second cousins/third cousins/best friends with you, please have them form a single line behind you instead of crowding around every inch of your cart so that the customer behind you (probably me) can get down the aisles quickly.

4. When going to get an item off the shelf, it is not OK to leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.

5. Decide what kind of milk you want before approaching the cooler. There are not that many choices. And yes, I'm aware that Walmart has been slacking lately in carrying 1% milk in the Great Value brand so either decide if you want to pay the extra $1.25 for 1% Deans milk or if you still want the cheap Great Value brand and grab a gallon of 2% and get out of the way.

6. Wear clothes that are clean, free of profanity, and that cover all parts of your body.

7. If you only have five items and choose to go in the "20 items or less" line to check-out, please re-read the sign that says "20 items or less" and don't breathe heavily, shift your weight impatiently from one foot to the other, and give the person in front of you (probably me) a if-looks-could-kill look because that person (me) has 19 items. The sign "20 items or less". Nineteen is less than 20.

8. Please do not leave unwanted items from your cart at the end of the check-out conveyor belt or better yet, on the floor in the check-out line for others (probably me) to maneuver around or trip over. If you wanted the item ten minutes ago when you put it into your cart, why don't you want it now?

9. When walking back to your car with your 64 family members and cart full of bagged groceries, pick a side of the aisle in the parking lot to walk down instead of weaving around somewhere in the middle.

10. Finally, when exiting the Walmart parking lot, utilize the big yellow arrows in the parking lot. They tell you which direction you should be traveling.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Leavell

Oh, and one more thing...

Dear Walmart employee,

When a customer buys eight different cans of food product to make a pot of chili perhaps, it is not OK or even smart to put all eight cans into one plastic bag and "double-bag" it thinking that those two bags will withhold the weight of eight cans. They won't. All of the handles will break. Trust me.

Thank you,
Jennifer Leavell